Christopher Gayle - The King of Cool

We all know what Chris Gayle thinks about test cricket. Apparently he doesn't think too highly of his adversaries either.

First he had a nice little mini-contest going with Evil Doug during the second test between Australia and the West Indies. When asked about the loud and obnoxious New South Welshman, Gayle had this to say: "What's the other guy's name? Bollinger? Bollinger. This will be the first time I am going up against him. It's a challenge. I haven't seen much of him to be honest with you. I'm sure we'll get some clippings and take a look at him and see what we can make of him." Sure enough, Evil Doug got him in the first innings and danced around like a teenage tramp to the beats of "Say my name". But cool Chris got back at him in the second essay by batting through the Windies innings and Dougie B had to confess in front of Reverend Broad.

Not being satisfied with traumatising the Australian seamers, Christopher decided to take another page out of the Shane Warne book of sledging. "I hear the Aussies look like they are going to play Nathan Hauritz here in Perth," Gayle said in the Herald Sun. "At the moment when Hauritz is bowling to me, it's like I'm bowling to myself. He really doesn't turn the ball too much that is for sure. Occasionally he might get the odd one to spin."

We, here at Straight Drive Past the 'Keeper think he can do better. With Peter "Axeman" Siddle struggling to be fit for the final test, Australia have scraped the bottom of their pace bowling barrel by calling up Brett Geeves. I can already see how the pre-match press conference is going to pan out. Malcolm Conn is going to be in there wearing the Baggy Green cap that Cricket Australia gives to their mediapersons, ready to intimidate King Christopher with some really tough questions.

MC: Right, how would you rate your team's chances at Perth?
CG: The West Indies here to play good cricket maan, the rest upto Bob Marley.
MC: So Chris, are you happy about Peter Siddle missing tomorrow's game?
CG: Chris don't care who bowls, Chris only cares about his bling.
MC: What do you know about Siddle's replacement?
CG: Why don't you ask Geeves? Chris needs to hit the pool now.