Farmers seek ban on the term "couch potato"

Alright so this may not exactly be headline news but that is only because its old now. For those whose memory is a tad rusty, the story was that the British Potato Council wanted the term 'couch potato' out of the Oxford Dictionary. Apparently, the epithet has a detrimental affect on the vegetable's healthy image. That really is a shame because potato is the healthiest of the non-green vegetables. Or maybe a close second to carrots, unless I am forgetting a few others. Nonetheless, the point is it is more likely to be closer to the top than the bottom.

Now in case you are wondering of the connection this has with cricket, the answer lies with the butterfly effect. The small change of removing an expression from the dictionary could trigger a chain of events which could ultimately lead to the destruction of our glorious game! However, that is not where the coherence ends. Following my years of extensive research on the matter, I have (almost) managed to prove that the farmers started their protest because of their utter dislike for test cricket. Lets face it, test cricket fans are the worst offenders, i.e. they are couch potatoes who through sun and rain sit in front of their television sets for 7 1/2 hours a day for 5 successive days to watch a sport that most people in the world don't even know about! They are, therefore, directly responsible for giving potatoes a bad name.

Luckily, though, the guardians of the Oxford English Dictionary have a strong affinity towards test cricket. The fact that no phrase has ever been removed from the dictionary proves this. Thus, even in the face of gruelling attack of protests from the farmers, they held on by being positive in defence showing both solid technique and excellent temperament. And so test cricket has dodged another bullet aimed at its existence. Only just!